Saturday, August 14, 2010

To Rant, Perchance to Scream...

There are folks who are of the opinion that inanimate objects are just that... inanimate.

Don't give me that bunk! These must be folks who don't sit all day with one of these "marvelous tools" called computers staring at them in the face and... laughing sometimes! Yes, laughing!

These things not only are full of soul and will, they are also full of mischief, and love to make my day miserable sometimes! First off, try to get one of these things to even begin to do your bidding until they've had their morning Java. You might as well go get loaded and settled yourself before you even begin to think you are going to accomplish something some days.

If they reacted the same way every day, that would be something... but they don't! Take the other night for instance. Here I was trying to do too many things anyway (multi-tasking, I think we call it now...) and one of the things is that I'm trying to put a small book together in JPG form to send out to my friends, Didn't do anything different I did last week, but would it cooperate this time??? NOOOOO. To much to ask, I guess!

Ever try to sit through a scanning process? BORING! But it was only seven pages, so what the heck, ya know? Got them all scanned and just as I hit the button to put them together I get this error page that says... well, I don't rightly know what it says, but I KNOW the computer is Mocking Me!

So going back to patience lessons 101, I start all over. 1...2...3...4...5...6....7 scan them all in again, and up comes the same stupid "we ain't gonna do it again, here are your error choices you idiot human!" By this time I'm mad, and my will buttons are pushed and I'm gonna make this thing do my bidding or die trying!

Another 20 minutes.... ending in a silent snicker from my laptop as I failed yet again. I don't even care what the stupid message says this time... I "control, alt, delete" the damn thing and slam the cover down and slink off to my pity party that I was late for...


This morning I tried a different approach... I picked up my little mouse, rubbed it's little underside a cuddle or two, and in my best Scotty voice I whispered... "Good morning Computer!"

I'll be durned! No error messages... no grief... and the project is done!

Don't tell me you aren't alive and in my life just to make me crazy you technical beast you! But thanks for the help today! I couldn't have ranted without you!

2 comments:

lollie said...

This is so very true! It can be very frustrating at times! Sometimes you just want pick up the whole computer and take it out and toss it in the big black can in the backyard! Glad you were able to get it to go the next time by being positive and upbeat!!

bridge-FACE said...

Psh! What's the point in having anything if it doesn't do what it's supposed to do?! it was made to do a simple little thing and they can't even do that! computers must be made in america, the land of "lets not really try to do anything good and just squeak by and be lazy"
i still dont believe that calming down does anything, the stupid freaking things can't do anything

you made me giggle poppa!